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Blog Credit: Jordan Montgomery, PhD, LMFT It is normal to experience conflict in your relationship with your partner. The key is to gain awareness on these types of communications and start to identify healthier ways to communicate. Through this awareness, you and your partner can start to break previous habits and patterns of communicating. Conflict […]
It is normal to experience conflict in your relationship with your partner. The key is to gain awareness on these types of communications and start to identify healthier ways to communicate. Through this awareness, you and your partner can start to break previous habits and patterns of communicating. Conflict might start to feel unhealthy and habitual if you and your partner are experiencing the following communication issues:
Ultimately, you and your partner are human and learning how to communicate healthier takes time, patience, and awareness. What’s important after having an unproductive argument is recovering from conflict and having a follow-up conversation when you both feel calm. Keep in mind that this process should include you and your partner working together to fight unhealthy cycles of communication, rather than fighting each other or blaming one another.
If you feel you are in need of services to process your cycles of communication and learn healthy tips for understanding one another, you can contact Revive Family Counseling to set up an appointment with any of our skilled therapists.
References:
Gottman, J.M. & Gottman, J.S. (2022). Chapter 16: Gottman Method Couple Therapy. In Lebow, J.L. & Snyder, D.K. (Eds.) Clinical Handbook of Couple Therapy Sixth Edition. (pp. 362-390). Guilford Publications.
5 Love Languages. (2023, February 6). What are the 5 love languages? https://5lovelanguages.com/learn
How to handle anxiety and big emotions related to changes that life brings unexpectedly Several years ago I was working with a young teenager who was struggling with anxiety. She had experienced several big changes and was finding it hard to develop ways to manage her new normal. I clearly remember one of our discussions […]
According to the Association of Anxiety and Depression roughly 40 million adults in America deal with anxiety. In fact it is the MOST common mental health diagnosis in America. I am not surprised by these numbers, because the majority of people I work with have experienced anxiety. The AAD also reports that only 36% of people seek treatment. What!!! How can that be? Well simply put it’s the shame and stigma about anxiety that prevents us from seeking help.
Much like my young client, many adults battle with the constant sense of anxiety because life is always changing. Many of the people I work with are dismissive about how they ended up anxious, often telling me “it came out of no where!” Heck no it did not! Anxiety is there, hiding in the background as we navigate through life. Can you remember a time you felt nervous about a new job? Or excited to go on a first date? Raise your hand if you were anxious the first time you met your future in laws?! Anxiety is there, playing it’s part in your life; but how does anxiety become unhealthy? Or so disruptive?
Well, anxiety takes root in our fears about the worst possible outcomes. We quickly become worried about our future. Our sense of control takes a hold and BAM anxiety has its prefect storm. Anxiety can drive any sane, rationale person into a full blown panic attack. When we become hypersensitive to these constant changes we become anxious. The constant changes, both good and bad create for most people a sense of unease. Change for most people equals no control.
Anxious people crave control. I often recommend structure and routine for my anxious clients. I encourage them to create a sense of control where they can, so they feel better quipped to handle that which they cannot control. There is very little in life we can control, this is usually where the battle lies when navigating anxiety. When we are feeling anxious we often try to control the things we cannot change. The serenity prayer comes to mind here; accepting the things we can change and things we cannot while knowing the difference.
Anxiety is no match for insight and self awareness. When we become in touch with ourselves, accepting that we can only control so much we lower the expectations we put on ourselves. Understanding that anxiety only has the control you allow it to have. Life will always change, that’s the beauty of it. Many years ago a wiser person told me “the bad news is nothing ever stays the same, but the good news is nothing ever stays the same.” This storm will pass, the anxiety can diminish and you can learn how to embrace life’s changes.
If you or someone you know is struggling with anxiety, please reach out to one of our professionals at Revive Family Counseling at 239 329 9264 and start feeling better today!
