By: Jordan Montgomery, PhD, LMFT
In today’s world it can be hard to set aside time to spend with your significant other. Whether it’s work schedules, taking care of children, planning the family calendar, cleaning your home, or even scheduling time for self-care, life can get in the way. As a couples therapist I ask my clients all the time if they set time aside for date days or date nights. Quality time with your significant other can be whatever the two of you decide you would enjoy doing together. It can be anything from making a meal at home and watching a movie cuddled up on the couch to going to a fancy dinner reservation at a nice restaurant. Whatever you decide, it’s what works best for the two of you that you would both enjoy and how to fit it into your schedule. If you have children, is there someone in your life who you trust who could watch your children for a few hours- a trusted friend or family member? If not, can you meet up when your children are in school during your lunch breaks? These times can also help you with planning your quality time together as a couple. Here’s some ideas that might work for you:
Fun activities outside of the house or date ideas for busy couples:
- Skating or ice skating
- Painting classes
- Cooking classes
- Miniature golfing
- Going to a sports game
- Going to a movie
- Going out for dinner
- Going out for drinks
- Going for a walk in the park/at a preserve
Fun activities in the house and more date ideas for busy couples:
- Make a meal kit together
- Do “date night in a box”- There’s some companies where you can get paint and canvas shipped in a box right to your door and you can paint a canvas together
- Watch a movie in the comfort of your home
- Give each other a massage
- Light some candles (if possible where you live), turn on some music, and slow dance
- Play a board game
- Play videogames together
- Cuddle and watch your favorite show
If you and your partner have problems deciding what to do, you can write all your favorite dates in and out of the home on a separate pieces of paper, fold them in half, put them in a hat, pick an option out of the hat and agree you will do whatever option you pick first!
For conversation starters during your dates when you might want to have intimate conversations, I would also suggest them Gottman Card Deck- available for free on the google store or apple store to download on your phone. Each deck is a different category for important conversation starters including sex, intimacy, getting to know each other more, what your personal perspectives are on different topics, and how to express your needs.
Whatever you and your significant other have planned, you can also agree that during this quality time together you don’t discuss any issues going on in your relationship, and instead just focus on being in the moment, enjoying each other’s presence and having fun together. Please note that it’s important to keep your date nights lighthearted so that you can work on your connection and chemistry.
We would love to hear about your favorite times spent together and dates you would encourage other busy couples to try. Please share some photos and experiences in the comments below.