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Addiction is a terrible disease that can affect anyone. It is a chronic brain disorder that is characterized by compulsive drug seeking and use, even in the face of negative consequences. Addiction can lead to serious health problems, financial ruin, and relationship problems. It can also lead to crime and violence. Addiction is a family […]
Addiction is a terrible disease that can affect anyone. It is a chronic brain disorder that is characterized by compulsive drug seeking and use, even in the face of negative consequences. Addiction can lead to serious health problems, financial ruin, and relationship problems. It can also lead to crime and violence.
Addiction is a family disease. When someone is addicted, it affects everyone around them. Spouses, children, parents, and other family members often live in fear and chaos. They may feel helpless and hopeless. They may also feel like they are walking on eggshells, afraid of what their loved one might do next.
There is help available for people who are struggling with addiction and their families. There are many treatment programs that can be effective. There are also support groups for families of addicts. These groups can provide information, support, and hope.
The Impact of Addiction on Families
Addiction has a devastating impact on families. It can lead to divorce, financial ruin, and child abuse. It can also lead to addiction in other family members.
One of the most common ways that addiction affects families is through divorce. When one spouse is addicted, it puts a lot of strain on the relationship. The other spouse may feel resentful, angry, and betrayed. They may also feel like they are walking on eggshells, afraid of what their spouse might do next.
Addiction can also lead to financial ruin. Addicts often spend a lot of money on drugs or alcohol. They may also lose their job due to their addiction. This can put a lot of financial strain on the family.
Addiction can also lead to child abuse. Addicts may neglect or abuse their children. They may also put their children in danger.
Finally, addiction can lead to addiction in other family members. Children of addicts are more likely to become addicted themselves. This is because they are exposed to addiction at a young age.
Getting Help
There is help available for people who are struggling with addiction and their families. There are many treatment programs that can be effective. There are also support groups for families of addicts. These groups can provide information, support, and hope.
If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, please reach out for help. There is no shame in asking for help. Addiction is a disease, and there is no need to suffer in silence.
Please call Revive Family Counseling today at 239 329 9264 to speak with a trained professional. We can help you get the help you need to recover from addiction and rebuild your life.
1. You are experiencing conflict in your relationship. This could include anything from disagreements about finances to arguments about parenting. 2. You are feeling disconnected from your partner. You may feel like you are growing apart or that you don’t know each other anymore. 3. You are considering divorce or separation 4. If you are […]
1. You are experiencing conflict in your relationship. This could include anything from disagreements about finances to arguments about parenting.
2. You are feeling disconnected from your partner. You may feel like you are growing apart or that you don’t know each other anymore.
3. You are considering divorce or separation
4. If you are thinking about ending your relationship, it can be helpful to talk to a counselor first. They can help you explore your options and make the best decision for you and your family.
5. You have experienced a major life change, such as the death of a loved one, a job loss, or a diagnosis of a chronic illness. These changes can put a strain on even the strongest relationships. A counselor can help you and your partner cope with the change and come out stronger on the other side.
6. You are struggling with a mental health issue, such as depression, anxiety, or addiction. These issues can have a negative impact on your relationship. A counselor can help you and your partner learn how to communicate better and support each other through difficult times.
If you are thinking about seeking help from a marriage or couples counselor, there are a few things you can do to prepare. First, talk to your partner about your concerns. If they are willing to participate, you can start looking for a counselor together. Second, do some research on counselors in your area. Read reviews and compare their credentials.
Seeking help from a marriage or couples counselor is a big step, but it can be a very rewarding one. If you are struggling in your relationship, one of our trained counselors at Revive Family Counseling can help you and your partner communicate better, resolve conflict, and build a stronger connection.
Family conflict is a normal part of life. Even the most loving and supportive families disagree sometimes. But when conflict becomes a regular occurrence, it can take a toll on everyone involved. There are many different ways to resolve family conflict. Some people try to avoid conflict altogether, while others prefer to confront it head-on. […]
Family conflict is a normal part of life. Even the most loving and supportive families disagree sometimes. But when conflict becomes a regular occurrence, it can take a toll on everyone involved.
There are many different ways to resolve family conflict. Some people try to avoid conflict altogether, while others prefer to confront it head-on. There is no right or wrong answer, as long as both parties are willing to work together to find a solution.
Here are a few tips for resolving family conflict:
1. **Talk to each other.** This may seem like the most obvious solution, but it’s often the most difficult. When you’re feeling angry or upset, it can be hard to see the other person’s point of view. But it’s important to try to communicate your feelings and listen to the other person’s feelings as well.
2. **Be willing to compromise.** No one is going to get everything they want in a conflict. But if you’re willing to give a little, you’re more likely to find a solution that works for everyone.
3. **Don’t take things personally.** It’s easy to get offended when someone disagrees with you. But it’s important to remember that the other person is not attacking you personally. They just have a different opinion.
4. **Forgive each other.** Once you’ve resolved a conflict, it’s important to forgive each other. This doesn’t mean you have to forget what happened, but it does mean letting go of the anger and resentment.
5. **Move on.** Once you’ve resolved a conflict, it’s time to move on. Don’t dwell on the past or bring up old arguments. Focus on the present and the future.
Resolving family conflict can be difficult, but it’s important to remember that it’s possible. With communication, compromise, and forgiveness, you can find solutions that work for everyone.
In addition to the above, here are some additional tips:
* **Set ground rules.** Before you start talking, agree on some ground rules. These could include things like respecting each other’s opinions, not interrupting, and not raising your voices.
* **Take a break if you need it.** If things start to get heated, take a break from the conversation. This will give you both a chance to cool down and collect your thoughts.
* **Seek professional help if needed.** If you’re struggling to resolve a conflict on your own, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. A therapist or counselor can help you learn how to communicate better and resolve your differences.
Our therapists at Revive Family Counseling are licensed and qualified to help with the most complex family conflicts.
By: Jordan Montgomery, PhD, LMFT In today’s world it can be hard to set aside time to spend with your significant other. Whether it’s work schedules, taking care of children, planning the family calendar, cleaning your home, or even scheduling time for self-care, life can get in the way. As a couples therapist I ask […]
In today’s world it can be hard to set aside time to spend with your significant other. Whether it’s work schedules, taking care of children, planning the family calendar, cleaning your home, or even scheduling time for self-care, life can get in the way. As a couples therapist I ask my clients all the time if they set time aside for date days or date nights. Quality time with your significant other can be whatever the two of you decide you would enjoy doing together. It can be anything from making a meal at home and watching a movie cuddled up on the couch to going to a fancy dinner reservation at a nice restaurant. Whatever you decide, it’s what works best for the two of you that you would both enjoy and how to fit it into your schedule. If you have children, is there someone in your life who you trust who could watch your children for a few hours- a trusted friend or family member? If not, can you meet up when your children are in school during your lunch breaks? These times can also help you with planning your quality time together as a couple. Here’s some ideas that might work for you:
Fun activities outside of the house or date ideas for busy couples:
Fun activities in the house and more date ideas for busy couples:
If you and your partner have problems deciding what to do, you can write all your favorite dates in and out of the home on a separate pieces of paper, fold them in half, put them in a hat, pick an option out of the hat and agree you will do whatever option you pick first!
For conversation starters during your dates when you might want to have intimate conversations, I would also suggest them Gottman Card Deck- available for free on the google store or apple store to download on your phone. Each deck is a different category for important conversation starters including sex, intimacy, getting to know each other more, what your personal perspectives are on different topics, and how to express your needs.
Whatever you and your significant other have planned, you can also agree that during this quality time together you don’t discuss any issues going on in your relationship, and instead just focus on being in the moment, enjoying each other’s presence and having fun together. Please note that it’s important to keep your date nights lighthearted so that you can work on your connection and chemistry.
We would love to hear about your favorite times spent together and dates you would encourage other busy couples to try. Please share some photos and experiences in the comments below.
Blog Credit: Jordan Montgomery, PhD, LMFT It is normal to experience conflict in your relationship with your partner. The key is to gain awareness on these types of communications and start to identify healthier ways to communicate. Through this awareness, you and your partner can start to break previous habits and patterns of communicating. Conflict […]
It is normal to experience conflict in your relationship with your partner. The key is to gain awareness on these types of communications and start to identify healthier ways to communicate. Through this awareness, you and your partner can start to break previous habits and patterns of communicating. Conflict might start to feel unhealthy and habitual if you and your partner are experiencing the following communication issues:
Ultimately, you and your partner are human and learning how to communicate healthier takes time, patience, and awareness. What’s important after having an unproductive argument is recovering from conflict and having a follow-up conversation when you both feel calm. Keep in mind that this process should include you and your partner working together to fight unhealthy cycles of communication, rather than fighting each other or blaming one another.
If you feel you are in need of services to process your cycles of communication and learn healthy tips for understanding one another, you can contact Revive Family Counseling to set up an appointment with any of our skilled therapists.
References:
Gottman, J.M. & Gottman, J.S. (2022). Chapter 16: Gottman Method Couple Therapy. In Lebow, J.L. & Snyder, D.K. (Eds.) Clinical Handbook of Couple Therapy Sixth Edition. (pp. 362-390). Guilford Publications.
5 Love Languages. (2023, February 6). What are the 5 love languages? https://5lovelanguages.com/learn
by Jay A. Reed, LCSW-QS I have felt like I have been stuck in one of those revolving doors, remember the ones that used to be at entrance of fancy hotels? Yes, I feel as though I am suck in on those doors, going around and around. I am not alone, but I cannot talk, […]
I have felt like I have been stuck in one of those revolving doors, remember the ones that used to be at entrance of fancy hotels? Yes, I feel as though I am suck in on those doors, going around and around. I am not alone, but I cannot talk, touch, or connect with the other people going around and around with me for at least 5 weeks. It has been the recommendation from the powerful people across the nation that we practice social distancing. I know several people, who are excited about the idea of being isolated from people. These people are easily identified as introverts, they have been practicing for this lockdown all their lives. The extroverted people are not having as much fun, they may even be ignoring the recommendations and not being too distance in their socializing. I know, believe, and understand that social distancing is the best practice for our physical health, but I believe it is not best practice for our mental health. Yes, even you introverts out there are a risk of the negative consequences of social distance and isolation.
In my practice as a therapist, I have repeatedly stated that human beings are social creatures. I believe that people thrive because of their connections with others. I believe that there is safety in numbers and that teamwork is dream work (sorry, I could not help myself). All cheesy sayings aside I genuinely feel that people feel their best when they are connected to the people, they perceive support them. Whenever I take an inventory of client’s positive support systems, I often talk about their “perceived support”. It is the support we believe we have that is beneficial and now, unfortunately many people do not perceive they have much support. So many of us are isolated from the people who we easily identify as our support system. Sure, we have Facetime, and Zoom to keep us connected, but I am more frequently reminded this is not enough for us. Yes, those introverts out there will argue they are fine and that they can sustain social distancing for many more months. I do not doubt that they can and will, but I worry how hard it will be for them to return to socializing up close. I worry that for many folks, their anxiety and depression will worsen and that their tendency to avoid socially uncomfortable situations will become their norm. You see, depression and anxiety dwell in our self-isolation. These disorders will lie to you, telling you that it is good self-care to isolate, that avoiding pain is your best survival strategy. I have spent much of the last several years encouraging clients with these two specific disorders to connect with the outside world, no matter how painful or uncomfortable. I have challenged some of the most isolated people to connect with people who not only can support them but can also hold space for their pain. In my time as a grief counselor, I would often encourage clients to join my support group. I had experienced the magic of social support over and over I would explain and remind them “there is safety in numbers”.
So, am I encouraging you to ignore social distancing recommendations? Absolutely NOT! I will say it again for the people in the back; no, I am not suggesting you immediately begin socializing within 6ft again. I will suggest something else, effective for now to manage those growing feelings of loneliness and isolation. Connect with your support network, routinely check in with your tribe and remember to ask for what you need from these people. Daily messages of support, encouragement and love will help anyone; even those who believe they are doing well. I have taken to sending messages of support to my clients at least once a week. Many have responded with a simple “thank you”, some have not acknowledged the message, but many more have returned the gesture, asking me how I am doing in return. People will amaze you, more often for positive reasons. They will share themselves in a way that will remind you of the goodness in the world; we need a lot of that right now. Respond to those text messages, say yes to an invite to join a Zoom call, and connect often with your co-workers who you are so used to seeing daily.
Those of you who are Mothers, connect with other mothers who will understand the struggle of managing their child’s home-schooling requirements with their other children’s needs. Take time to especially reach out to those working mothers, who are usually working at midnight because that is the only time their family can give them. So many of these people have lost their village; remind them it is still there, beyond the woods, past the clearing (just past 6ft) waiting to embrace them again. Remind them that while nothing can replace the warm embrace of a core member of your support team, a phone call can do wonders for the soul. Be kind to your children, who have no idea what is happening and are possibly demanding more from you because of these inconsistencies. Remember your older family members, who may not be able to use technology. Snail mail is still a thing; I know many grandparents whose day would be brighten by a simple letter of hello.
I read something recently about mental health issues being a part of the next surge of this pandemic. It is sad that this is the reality for many. Do not forget about yourself through all of this. Remember nothing lasts forever, and that it is okay that you may not be able to find anything positive about this situation. Do not forget the lessons you have learned about your anxiety or depression and continue to fight the urge to avoid people. I have realized over the last few days that uncertainty will do damage to your mind and your connections if you let it. Yes, the uncertainty is always there, but so are many other things are we can remain certain of. Take Care, stay well and until we meet again (in person) know we are here to help, support, nurture and love you from afar.
In the meantime, we offer Tele mental health (Telehealth) via a HIPPA Secure software called Simple Practice. It is a great alternative to in person sessions as we encourage you to continue to take care of your mental health and do not want you to have a large gap in follow up timeframe.
You can learn more about Telehealth provided by Revive Family Counseling by visiting our website/clicking on link below www.revivefamilycounseling.com/telehealth/
-Based on real events- I lost myself throughout the years because I started to believe that there is no better life for me. I started to believe all the belittling words and emotional abuse. I allowed myself to become manipulated into the paralyzing fear of what would happen to me if I left my current […]
I became anxious, depressed, irritable and had frequent outburst of anger. I cried very often. I was angry with my situation and with myself for my inability to leave. I worried all the time. My self-worth and self-esteem diminished and my confidence suffered. I often wondered what it would be like to not have to feel the pain and break free from my fears.
The paralyzing fear of the unknown kept winning time and time again.
It wasn’t until I was told in therapy to consider medications for depression, which I did not want to take.
Therapy allowed me to process and validate what I already knew deep down inside was true.
Is this really who I want to be? Is this who I want my children to know me as? This tired, depressed, anxious, emotionally exhausted grumpy person?
Therapy allowed me to learn how to break free from the cycle of fear.
I took on the challenge to make a change and transform my life. It was hard work but it was worth it.
My life took a turn when I decided there was NO WAY I want that old life anymore.
I now help others who are stuck like I once was to find the new life they so desperately deserve.
If you recognize yourself in this story; if you can relate in anyway; I want to help you face your fears and anxieties.
Whether it’s an unhealthy relationship with a spouse, parents, sibling, child or a job, I can help you find YOU- the You that you want to be.
I get that making the first step is difficult and might take some time. I can help you find the strength to set limits and healthy boundaries to become more independent and less codependent.
I can help you learn to be confident in yourself and love yourself again.
There is so much more out there that you can still live for and enjoy no matter your age.
Life is not about existing; it’s about living to the fullest!
If you are ready to take the first step towards your transformation, give me a call and let’s get started.
My name is Edita and you can reach me at 239-329-9264 or you can visit me at ReviveFamilyCounseling.com or follow me on social media on:
FB @revivefamilycounseling
IG @breathe.smile.revive
So what is living your best life anyway? Are our best lives filled with absolutely everything that makes us happy? Are there never any worries? Having all the money you could ever need? Or is it being surrounded by people who love us unconditionally? Living your best life seems to one of latest sayings we […]
As corny and sickening as this sounds this is life I dreamed of. Rewind 10 years and you would find me alone, sad and terrified what the future held for me. I had just graduated from my MSW program and couldn’t find a job. I was hanging on to a toxic, dead end relationship because of my fears that it couldn’t get any better than this. It seemed impossible then that I would ever been living my best life. I stumbled, and even at times fell while making my way to my best life.
It took ten years …TEN years to get here! Those years are filled with tears, doubts, successes, heartbreaks, happiness and sacrifices. Will my best life today last forever, probably not. I will probably stumble again, I may even fall. This time though I know I can and will get back up. I know we will survive this and that we will most likely thrive. Living our best life involves risks and scarifies that mean that sometimes life will be scary, heck it will be terrifying.
These experiences are just as much apart of living my best life. The downs make the ups even sweeter. The times I have struggled, I have cried, I have doubted the future make the life I am living now even greater.. So why do I share this with you? I know some of you out there are struggling. Some of you in crazily similar situations as mine. Some of you many be thinking life isn’t worth living at all, and some of those folks are actively thinking of ways to harm themselves. I share this because I wanted to give all of you out there struggling, the hope that life will and does get better. Life is unpredictable. This is both comforting and terrifying for me. During some of my darkest times I clung to the idea that these experiences would change. That life had some sweetness left to give me…it totally did. I completely understand that life is hard and there are times that we drown in the heaviness of our most troubling experiences. Listen to me now, hang in there because I know your best life is yet to come.
If you or someone you know is struggling with depression or having thoughts of suicide know there is help available 24/7 at the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. Please call 1 (800) 273-8255
I have started to write this blog for over a month ago. Writing is something that usually when I am in the right frame of mind I can do quickly. The ideas start flowing and then the words come. For little over a month now, I’ve been struggling to find my words. I’ve been struggling […]
“I am not sure what the cause is this time…Probably a combination of both… but I’m lost and I’m drowning.”
I have found that I am not alone in this experience; many other working Moms struggle to find their balance and often find themselves in the deep end without their floaties. The reality is all too real for 20 something and 30 something Mommas who usually find themselves between giving it all to their kids or staying on course at work.
I am luckier than most, I have to admit that I have a lot of support, but some day (heck most days) I find myself knee deep in a life I am not prepared for. I am expected to know it all because I “have it all”. I am meant to be grateful and appreciative because I have what some many other want. I actually have everything I ever wanted; a loving husband, beautiful and healthy children….and then a career I have worked so hard for. I am grateful, but I’m also taking on water. It’s hard to navigate “having it all” and knowing exactly what to do next.
Have you ever found yourself struggling to find help because you feel as though you should be nothing but grateful and gracious? It can be hard to admit you are drowning when others have harder journeys to travel than you. It can be painful to admit you need space, time and a break when you have “it all”. How can we exactly need help when we are already supported and blessed? How can you ask for help when you are expected to have it all and know it all?
I can remember a few years ago feeling proud of a friend who was doing it all on her own. We had similar experiences and similar paths until we didn’t. All of a sudden she was thrusted into a life as a single parent, without any family close by. She was trying to navigate a full time, emotionally demanding job. I can remember taking a pause and allowing myself to count my blessings. I also learned that I too was overwhelmed, I just had different demands. I was expected to be able to handle more, do more and know more. The support I had somehow given others; the idea that I had it “all together”. I much like my friend was drowning. She was obviously far further down than I was, but none of the less we were BOTH struggling.
Do you know a Mom who just seems to have to all together? Does she seem to have a wealth of support? Has it been awhile since you have checked in?
Maybe you are that Mom; maybe you feel guilty for needing more than you have been getting? Maybe you are struggling with the balance of working and finding your way as a Mom. If this sounds like you, you aren’t alone. Being a parent, a Mother is statically harder, we have greater demands without the village of support that our mothers had. Please know you are not alone in this experience, so many mothers (first time, third time, working and stay at home) Moms are reporting feeling alone. So many Mommas report feeling overwhelmed and alone.
“Drowning comes to mind…for me at least.”
Sometimes it feels as though I will never come up for air. I know, I really know I can and will. How you may ask? I know because I have to and because I want to. I’ve worked hard to be here, I’ve worked with the passion and desire to better myself, my family and those who choose to become my clients. I can do this, even on the days I doubt I can. I also know you can do this too. You will learn how to swim, treading water will get you somewhere. You will learn that you always had your floaties. Maybe you will realize that in fact you never needed them. You can and will believe in yourself. You have the traits and qualities you need to swim and arrive at your destination. You aren’t alone, there are so many Mothers out there doubting their abilities and their stamina to “just keep swimming”. You are in good company, I am there and so are some amazing, kick ass Mommas!
I am sitting at a dealership getting an oil change minding my own business, working on some progress notes. A few minutes later, I get approached by the technician who says: “Would you mind coming with me to look at something?”. So I pack up my stuff and reluctantly go with him. I am thinking […]
Imagine this to be your life. What if there are times that our lives need to be re-aligned. What if we were able to take a step back and look at what in our lives is not as it should be and with a little “tune up”, our life will “ride as new”.
As I returned to the waiting room, I started thinking about how to make this situation relatable to You. You who is feeling as if something is off. Something not quite right. Something feels off balance. Sure, you could keep going forward and moving along with the same “tires” and not really notice it until something major happens. Until You have to buy four new tires because the ones you have chosen not to re-align at the time you had the chance, have worn off and now you are having to spend 4 times as much money as you would have spent if you had just listened to your first instinct to re-align them. Don’t let that become your life.
What to do? Here are some tips to try.
Listen to your intuition (that gut feeling you get) when you feel something in your life is off and make changes that feel right to You
DO NOT self-diagnose yourself as depressed or crazy or any other “google diagnosis” you might find. If you feel as if you might have a “diagnosis”, reach out to a professional for help.
Be open to small changes that will make you feel good. Do more of what feels good.
Make a list of hobbies or activities that you have neglected or put aside due to other responsibilities
Eat healthy and exercise moderately
Take time for yourself and make yourself a priority once in a while
Remember that prevention is better than intervention
Allow yourself to engage in positive self-talk
Be your best friend
Fill in the blank- what will make you feel as if your life is back on track? Re-aligned as you would like it to be. If you are having a hard time coming up with answers or are not sure what it is- that is off- that’s totally normal and okay. Take your time and give yourself a break. Write down any ideas that might pop in your mind sporadically. It doesn’t have to flow. It can just be a word, thought, feeling, sentence or a whole page if that is what you need and that is where you are at.
Remember to revive yourself from time to time and work on making it a habit.
If none of the above suggestions work and you are still feeling as if your life is not able to get back to feeling aligned, reach out to a skilled therapist or counselor in your area.
You have got this!
Breathe. Smile. Revive
